Florida Triptiks
by Cameron Hunt McNabb
To get there, head south on 307, towards Apkaloosa, not Siskahatchee.
Go past the Big Top flea market , where they sell pecans in half the stalls, like they’re in Georgia or something, (though goodness knows why anyone would want to be in Georgia).
Take a right at the gas station that has the alligator head wind chimes out front with the googly eyes and the stuffed opossum holding a sign that says “taxodermy and hot coffee turn here.” But it’s not the gas station just before that with the live gator, a 12-footer now, that you can pet in the leftover orange crates.
After that right, you go straight for awhile. You’ll pass the fried mullet guy who sells mullet out of the back of his truck (he also has a mullet, so it can be confusing), Stan the Hubcap Man, eight or nine Cafe Risque billboards, and then a burned out Eckerd’s. That’s how you know you’re getting close.
Then, take a left at Mr. Bo’s Orange Man Citrus Stand, with the mural of the circus strong man lifting the orange-clad barbell. (Bo’s is across from the Shady Grove trailer park with the flamingo-shaped shuffle boards and bingo night every Tuesday).
Then the driveway is on the right.
But, remember, if you get to the bait shop on the river that set the Guinness World Record for number of crab trap buoys attached to its exterior, where that kangaroo got caught in the nets and they had to taser it,
Then you’ve gone too far.
Cameron Hunt McNabb is an assistant professor of English at a liberal arts university in Florida. She is also a fourth-generation Florida native and much of her writing focuses on her home state. Her work has appeared in the Tampa Review Online, Saw Palm‘s “Places to Stand” and Deep South’s Poetry section.